Self Esteem - Acceptance or Forgiveness? Articles | Self Esteem

We live in a society where, from pretty much the time you are born, life is about looking good and fitting in. Think about it…you feel the way you feel in a large part because of what you believe, and your beliefs come from may sources. Think about the advertising you have been subjected to – beautiful models wearing the hottest clothes…weight loss commercials, drug commercials,

From an early age, you are programmed to believe that you don’t have enough, don’t look good enough, don’t make enough money, don’t have the perfect house, friends, car, clothes, body…the list goes on and on. It’s as though you are wrong about everything, and promotes a belief that you are not enough, or not good enough.

Think about it – commercials want you to buy their products. So they make you feel that you’re a nobody if you don’t use their product. We watch these commercials, then we think we don’t measure up because we are not as happy, glamorous, rich, thin or having as much fun as we are “supposed” to!

What about those fashion magazines? They are filled with ads and articles for diets, health products, clothes, skin products and more. Their goal is to make you believe that if you buy all their stuff, you will be beautiful and happy, just like all their fancy models.

In our society we are programmed from a very young age that we are supposed to be “perfect.” And this kind of programming sets us up for failure – no wonder we have low self-esteem!

This affects the teen market dramatically – advertising of diets and models depicted in teen and fashion magazines contribute significantly to the number of teens with eating disorders and self esteem problems.

Marketing companies are brilliant – they know what we watch, when we watch it, what we normally buy, where we buy it, how much we buy and more. With repetitive advertising they pass all our conscious filters and program that information right in. Here are some of the beliefs you might have from advertising companies programming you…

People have LOTS of Fun when they drink beer. Wrinkles make you look old and ugly, and wrinkle cream will make you feel happy and beautiful. Having a credit card means you are rich and can spend frivolously.

Are these really true? Probably not…but it’s exactly what these companies want you to believe. They want you to buy their products and they are trying to create a “need.” Once you succumb to that need, you buy their products – and admit that you , indeed, believe in what they are advertising.

Then of course we have the reality shows like “What Not to Wear” and “10 Years Younger” making us feel like we are not accepted and loved unless we look young and are wearing nice, fancy clothes.

Do we really need wrinkle cream? Or are we just comparing ourselves with air-brushed photos of beautiful models. Have you ever seen those models without their makeup? Not so pretty!

Does that American Express card mean you can spend lots of money and have a lavish lifestyle? Probably not…unless you already do…but they sure want you to spend lots of money on their card so they can take their cut…

When we are bombarded with so many hits on our self esteem, how do we love and accept ourselves for who we are? We are consistently assaulted by advertising from multiple sources insinuating that we can only be perfect, happy and beautiful if we have their products. How can we overcome this?

First of all, limit your intake of media, and be aware of the intent of the advertiser. Many times they want you to feel a pain, or feel badly about yourself so you will “need” their product.

Accept that you are ok as you are – the people you see on TV and in magazines are not perfect, either. They are just portrayed that way to see you something.

Forgive yourself for what you think are your faults…everyone has problems and issues – that’s a normal part of life. Give yourself permission to make mistakes, to feel the way you feel and to not be perfect (perfection is only a myth…).

Forgive society and media for the beliefs and lies that they have pressed on you – because you are the way you are does not make you wrong. Find what works for you, find what makes you feel good…that’s what is right for you.

Measure your value in terms that are meaningful to you – not necessarily meaningful to society. You may be overweight, but feel good about yourself because you volunteer…or you may not fit society’s idea of successful, but feel good about yourself because you are kind and loving to your family.

Think about the reasons why other people like you, love you and appreciate you. See if you can appreciate yourself for those reasons as well. Try to identify with the person that others see in you as they look at you through the eyes of love, and give yourself permission to love yourself.